


Longing

by Ottermouse



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, Attention-starved, Begging, Blow Jobs, Desperation, Extremely minor season 4 spoilers, Fantasizing, First Time, Grinding, Horny Jonathan Sims, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Overstimulation, Riding, Touch-Starved, demisexual Jonathan Sims
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:46:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ottermouse/pseuds/Ottermouse
Summary: It’s as if the world was mocking him, making him think of Martin like this only after he’d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Jon.Kink meme fill. Takes place during season 4, but no major spoilers.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 10
Kudos: 202
Collections: Rusty Kink





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to [cuttooth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuttooth/pseuds/cuttooth) for beta-ing this fic and making it what it is now vs just a massive projection of myself onto Jon. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Original kink meme prompt: [jon/martin] begging  
> Set while martin is avoiding him during season 4, attention starved Jon resorts to getting on his knees and begging Martin to fuck him. Jon knows its fucked up and kinda manipulative to use martins crush against him like that, but he can't help himself.  
> Bonus points for demisexual jon who isnt used to feeling so horny because he only experiences sexual attraction once he gets emotionally attached to someone (martin). So hes extra teenager in love horny.

Jon lay in his bed, stroking his cock as he shuddered, letting out pleasured breaths. He was close, so close. It was something he did every night, touching himself. It felt good, and the orgasms helped him fall asleep quickly. He turned onto his side, dick in his left hand, the slick sound of lube and precum being rubbed up and down it reaching his ears.

“Fuck,” he whispered into his pillow, eyes screwed shut. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck-!”

In the split second before he came, the image of Martin straddling him, hand wrapped around Jon’s cock and kissing him appeared in his mind.

“Good. _Good,”_ he said, before Jon’s orgasm washed him away.

“Martin! Martin, oh _Martin.”_ The name was swallowed up by his pillow as he dug his head into it, overcome with pleasure.

His body grew limp, breath deep and heavy. Then his eyes snapped open.

He rarely thought of a real person while masturbating. He’d commonly imagined people in the throes of passion, but they’d always been faceless and indistinct, the emphasis on the pleasure they were giving each other, not to Jon. Thinking of someone he knew while masturbating usually didn’t turn him on. It felt weird, awkward, especially since he so seldom had feelings for anyone, and even then it somehow felt like an invasion of their privacy.

But not tonight.

Tonight, Jonathan Sims had gotten off thinking of a _specific_ person, doing something sexual _to_ him. He shook his head, as if trying to get rid of the memory, but instead the idea of Martin Blackwood joining him in bed and spooning him from behind filled his mind.

 _Fuck. My feelings for him must be stronger than I thought if he’s made me like this,_ he thought, shaking in both realization and post-orgasmic bliss. Sure, he’d entertained the notion that he had feelings for Martin, but it was in the way that he used to brush aside statements he knew in the back of his mind to be true. The feelings were just there, and he chose not to take them seriously, since the more he thought about them, the more real he thought they would become. But after this, he had no choice but to acknowledge that his feelings for Martin were more intense than he’d ever anticipated. 

_I know he had a crush on me before this whole mess, but now… could he still…? Jesus, get yourself together, Jon! He refuses to look at or talk to you, and made it very clear he doesn’t want anything to do with you- how disgusted would he be if he learned that you fantasized to the thought of him fucking you?_

Now that was a thought, Martin fucking him. He grabbed one of his pillows and placed it on his back, yanking the covers over it and pulling tightly so that the pillow pressed against him. When he closed his eyes, he could pretend that the weight was Martin curled up behind him, and that the hand gently stroking his thigh belonged to him, and not Jon.

* * *

“Statement ends,” Jon murmured quietly to himself, rolling his hips so that they rubbed against the fabric of his pants.

Nowadays, he rarely read statements that didn’t have a tie to any of the Entities, but today, Jon had found himself walking through the Archives, pulling various papers from boxes and shelves in a trance, before locking himself in his office.

He sat down, picking up the first page of the pile, and by habit began reading it out loud, though in a quieter tone than usual so that no one could hear through the door. He Knew that none of the statements held any true supernatural elements- not even a tape recorder appeared- but that wasn’t why he took them.

They were all from people claiming to have experienced romance or intimacy or sex with something inhuman, with varying levels of explicit details. Jon felt the emptiness in his heart pulse wildly at the women so attractive they _had_ to have been succubi, or that man in the night whose kiss was so addictive and cold he _must’ve_ been a vampire, or how it couldn’t be less than magical the way two people look at each other for the first time and just _know_ and fall in love.

Each statement had caused Jon to wonder what it would be like to experience those things with Martin. The kissing, the holding hands, the hugging, the looking into each other’s eyes for an hour without a word needing to be said. He feel a warmth spread across his face, growing even warmer when he recalled how long it had been since he’d last felt this for someone else. He attempted to inconspicuously adjust the tent in his pants, despite being alone. Reading the statements made him feel like he was going mad. He pushed away the longing to kiss and touch and rut. It was an overpowering desire that had never consumed his mind in such a way, but he had work to do, and Martin had made it very clear that his presence wasn’t welcome. So he took in a deep breath, accepted that nothing could be done about it, and let the breath out, determined to let the wave pass.

Until then, however, he needed to clear his head. He gathered up the statements, thinking that putting them back where they belonged should be enough of a distraction. He moved from box to shelf to barely-organized-piles, trying not to catch the attention of anyone else. He sighed with agitation after the last page was returned, as he still felt a buzz of arousal in the back of his mind. 

_Maybe I can just walk it off,_ he thought, sticking his hands in his pockets as he absentmindedly began to walk the halls of the institute, keeping his eyes to the floor, hoping it would clear his head. 

He sighed again a few minutes later. He’d probably wasted enough time, and despite all the goings-on at the institute, there was still work to be done. He raised his head, needing to figure out where he’d walked to in his distracted haze.

_Fuck._

There it was. The door to Martin’s office. It took all of Jon’s strength not to pull his hands out of his pockets and push it open, but he refrained. It was as if the Eye was teasing him, mocking him for the idea, the mere suggestion that Jon might actually have control over something for once in his life. He bit back a cry of frustration, and turned to leave.

That’s when he realized that the door was opened just a crack. A crack wide enough for Jon to look through and see Martin there, sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer. That broke his last bit of restraint.

He burst through the door, giving the figure of Martin quite a start.

“Jon? What are you doing here? Get-”

“I need you.” It was dripping with a desperation that Jon had never heard coming out of his own mouth.

“What for?” Martin sounded confused and exasperated.

“I know that you told me not to look for you and to keep my distance-”

“I did.”

“But lately I’ve been… thinking of you and I just needed to see you, Martin, please-” 

“No, Jon. You _don’t_ need to see me. Leave before Peter finds you here.”

 _“NO!”_ Jon surprised himself by screaming it, mind sent reeling in horror at the thought of having to leave him alone again. “No, Martin, please, I need you. Please, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you in a way that I haven’t thought about someone in _ages_ and it’s making me ache to the marrow of my bones to be away from you. Please don’t push me away, please let me have you.”

“H-how do you mean?”

Jon quickly made his way behind Martin’s desk, kneeling down between his legs. He heard the Martin turning his chair to face him, and Jon looked up, face flushed a deep red with arousal, barely able to hold back from placing his hands on Martin’s thighs.

“Please,” he begged.

“Jon- I- I don’t…” Martin’s eyes darted wildly back and forth between various objects in the room and the man between his legs.

“Oh, Martin, please, I need you, I want you, please, let me show you, let me kiss you, I need it, please, please, Martin, darling, I need you.”

“Is this- is this real?” Martin whispered softly to himself.

“Yes! Please, Martin, I can’t stand it, please let me, I feel like I’m going to die if I can’t touch you!”

“I… I... ” Martin wrung his hands together, breath noticeably coming out in shaky exhales.

“Don’t you want me?” Jon asked softly.

“Fuck!” Martin squeezed his eyes shut, every muscle in his body tensing before crying out, “Yes! Yes, do it, touch me, kiss me, I want you, do it!”

“Oh, thank you, thank you so much, oh, Martin!” Jon was so overwhelmed with the permission he didn’t know where to start. There was so much that he wanted to do. He surged up and began to kiss Martin. Kisses that left wet sounds behind in their wake, holding Martin’s face in his palms as he kissed him over and over. Jon settled himself in Martin’s lap as he kissed down Martin’s face to his neck, hands gripping and touching every part of him they could. He ground his hips into Martin, needing the friction more than anything. He had never wanted so badly, and to be able to take was the most satisfying thing he’d ever experienced. He sank back down to his knees, unbuttoning Martin’s trousers and yanking them and his underwear down to his ankles. He squeezed Martin’s half hard cock tightly and began to stroke. He could hear the man panting and moaning above him but couldn’t take his eyes off his cock.

He needed it. He needed Martin’s cock.

He put it in his mouth, unable to stop his own filthy, throaty sounds as he sucked on the tip. His face flushed with embarrassment at the noises, but it felt so good to have that warm, heavy weight on his tongue. He sucked with all the enthusiasm he had- which was quite a lot. He licked around the head, then up and down the length, pressing kisses along it before taking the head in and sucking _hard._ His hands stroked the flesh not in his mouth, experimenting between pulling, squeezing, and caressing. His mind felt heavy with arousal in a way it rarely did, clouded over with the unignorable desire to _fuck._

 _“_ Martin!” he gasped as he pulled off, nuzzling the wet cock into his face. “Please, Martin, please I want you.”

“You have me, Jon.”

“No, I want… I want…” Jon buried his face in Martin’s thigh.

Martin’s hands, which had been gripping the sides of his chair hard enough for his knuckles to turn white, shifted their hold to Jon’s hair. “What do you want? Be specific.”

“I want…” Jon blinked tears out of his eyes. “I want you…”

“You want me to _what,_ Jon?”

“I want you to fuck me, Martin.” It came out a whimper.

The confession shook the other man as his breaths became harsher. “Shit. Are you sure? Have you done this before?”

“No. Why does it matter? I want you.”

“Shit.” Martin hesitated. “I don’t have any condoms here or anything, Jon, I don’t know if I could-”

“Martin!” Jon pouted before standing up and starting to tear off his clothes.

“Oh my god, what’re you-”

Jon, nude, leapt into Martin’s lap, wound around him, rutting hard against his stomach. “Please fuck me? Please, Martin, I need you so badly, I promise I’ll be good for you.”

Martin’s eyes snapped into focus and he grabbed Jon roughly by the shoulders and kissed him, thrusting up against Jon’s body. Jon ground down, desperate for any friction. “You really want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, please, I need you, Martin, I need you now,” he gasped, hands gripping the other’s shoulders tightly before kissing him.

Martin kissed him back, the heat and contact overwhelmingly good. Jon grabbed Martin’s cock with one hand, pushing so that it slid between the crack of his ass. As he began to rock back against it, Martin reached an arm behind him, feeling around his desk and yanking open a drawer, eyes on Jon all the while. He pulled out a container of Vaseline, popping open the lid and dipping his fingers inside.

“I know it’s not the best, but I don’t want to hurt you,” Martin said, batting Jon’s hand away so he could work his fingers slowly inside of him.

“F… fuck... “ Jon groaned out, hands gripping Martin’s shoulders tightly as he was worked open. “Please, please, please, don’t stop, I want you, please.”

Martin stretched him with a patience that Jon couldn’t have even attempted at that moment. He barely felt in control of himself, nearly sobbing and blubbering into Martin’s neck, as he was prepared.

Martin took more of the Vaseline, stroking it onto his cock before wiping the excess onto his shirt. “You ready?”

“Yes, yes, Martin, please!” Jon cried out as if he was being offered a glass of water in a dry desert.

Martin slowly pushed in, waiting and watching, holding onto Jon’s hips to keep him steady. His body was shuddering almost uncontrollably above him, wheezing out breaths.

“I can feel you, I can feel you,” he choked out over and over.

“Shh, I can feel you, too, Jon.”

He continued to push in gradually until he was sitting fully on Martin’s cock, the entire thing pulsing inside of him. He could feel the heavy weight stretching him and nudging his prostate, and it was almost more than he could handle. The unfamiliar sensation and ache of the penetration clouding his mind as his body adjusted to the pressure that was all consuming. But it was alright because it was Martin who was inside of him and under him and touching him and murmuring sweet, comforting words to him. He began to rock back and forth on Martin’s lap, gyrating his hips to let an inch pull out of him before taking it back inside.

“Do I feel good?” Jon panted, letting out a shaky gasp as his prostate was rubbed.

“So… good…” Martin replied breathlessly, grabbing Jon’s hips, humping up into him wildly. “So tight, and warm, f-fuck, I want you. I’ve always wanted you, to do this to you, or for you to do this to me. Or do anything to me.”

“What do you mean?” Jon questioned through a moan. “You stopped wanting me, to be around me, god, you couldn’t even stand to look at me!”

There was no mistaking the slight accusatory bitterness in his tone as he clenched harder around Martin.

“No, Jon, I never stopped. But you _died._ I had to make a choice and now- oh fuck, Jon- I have to stick with it. I’m sorry, Jon, I’m- _hah,_ I’m gonna cum!” Martin screwed his eyes shut, fucking Jon with abandon as he neared his orgasm.

“Look at me!” Jon pleaded, blinking away tears. “Martin, open your eyes and **_look at me!”_ **

Martin opened his eyes, letting out a gasp as he stared deep into Jon’s. His breath stuttered, choked sounds escaping his mouth as he came. Jon took in the sight of his orgasmic expression, one hand frantically stroking his cock while the other rubbed Martin’s neck.

“Oh, god, yes! I can feel you inside me. Let it all out, every piece of you belongs to me.” Jon grabbed Martin’s chin roughly, kissing him hard and licking hungrily inside his mouth. When he came, it was harder than he ever had in his life. He saw stars, and bit down on Martin’s neck as electricity sparked through every last inch of his body. He rocked back on Martin’s slowly flagging cock, wanting to prolong the orgasm as long as possible. He lapped at the spot he bit, tongue making its way up to Martin’s ear before nibbling on it as well.

“Jon…” Martin groaned out.

He could feel the other begin to soften and Jon ground down further onto the dick, not wanting their connection to break. He pulled back and unbuttoned Martin’s shirt so he could suck on his nipples, enjoying the feeling of them growing hard under his tongue.

“Jon- oh god, too much, it’s too much!”

Jon gave one last suck before pulling back and blowing cold air onto the wet nubs, gently rubbing around them with the pads of his thumbs.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked. He didn’t want to. Stopping meant that all of this- the love, the touch, the connection- would be over. And Jon wasn’t ready to face the reality of Peter swiping Martin back into the Lonely again.

Martin fell silent for a moment, nothing but the loud panting and catching of breath between them.

“No. Just give me a minute.”

Jon returned to kissing Martin, hands curled around his neck and massaging his shoulders.

“Good. Because I’m not done, yet, either.”


End file.
